Do you like your job?

In my opinion, there are 3 types of job people, and you are able to determine which category a person belongs in by asking the question "Do you like your job?".

1. The "I Love My Job" people

The four word answer says it all-these people speak the truth. It's been an exhausting day for them, be it running all over town meeting with business execs, making a deal, answering thousands of important emails, teaching math to 20 3rd graders, devising a new advertising plan for a client, etc. etc., and they don't have the energy, and more importantly, feel the need, to dive into an over enthusiastic explanation of their undying love and devotion for their job. Instead, the exhaustion speaks for itself: I am exhausted because I spent all day working tirelessly for the company, and I put myself through this because I believe in the company and want them (and undoubtedly themselves) to succeed.

I can't do much sarcasm and wit with these people...they're straight up "fighting the good fight" and working hard for the money. I can envy these people, however, and I do on a regular basis. Isn't this what we all aim for in a job?

2. The "I Love My Job. Like, Really, Really, Love My Job. If I Could Have Designed My Dream Job, This Would Be It" people.

The 22 word answer says it all-these people are lying through their teeth. Feel free to whip out your lie detector and use as needed, since pretty much everything they say hereafter will be cooked up with white lies, fibs, and full blown fabricated stories. These people want to love their job, but for whatever reason don't, but they also don't want other people, for whatever weird reason, to know they don't love their job.

Why? Well, they could be talking to their boss/someone who knows their boss/their boss's wife/a potential employer and don't want to come across ungrateful, unappreciative, and suffering from Bad Attitude Syndrome. Putting that scenario aside, they could be talking to an acquaintance/nemesis/ex boyfriend/parent's smug friends/hated teacher from 5th grade, and would like to create the picture of 'I love my life!' rather than 'I hate my job, and I hate you too'. Sorry, strongly dislike. Hate is such a strong word.

For whatever reason they feel the need to lie about their job, you can just go ahead and plop them in the 3rd category (below) while you listen to their 15 minute schpiel (sp?) about working at The.Best.Job.Ever (!!!).

Note: Sometimes these people like to throw in a bucket of I'm Too Cool and claim that wearing a headset, surfing the internet all day, entering numbers into Excel, answering phones, taking messages, running errands, and anything else that makes you feel like a complete professional loser, are the best things about their job and they wouldn't have it any other way. Hold on just one moment while I run gag in el bano.

3. The "I Hate My Job." people

Like the Category 1 people, the 4 word answer says it all. Not only are these people being in-your-face honest, but are also (most likely) loving the out loud declaration of the fact. They sit for 8 hours (sometimes 9, *shudder*), just seething over their situation while having to put on a Mr. Positive face for the office. Every request and question is answered with jubilation and enthusiasm, while on the inside wanting to face plant into the floor.

Sure, this situation will make them stronger, developing the ability to carry on in rough and tough times, be all the better for it when they do get a job they love... bla, bla, bla, but refrain from saying so. They already know. That's what they tell themselves every single day and hearing it from an outsider (particularly a smug, chum of a fellow, who pats them on the back and says things like "Ah, everyone hates their job at some point. You'll come out swingin'!") makes them want to face plant them on the floor.

So. Best way to handle these built up anger machines are to simply lend an ear, nod, and back slowly away after 5 or 10 minutes. After all, they shouldn't be allowed too much ventilation. No need to make your day miserable as well.