What Comes Around, Goes Around

So, funny story:

My eyes have been evilly conjuring up Agitation, Irritation, and Insane Light Sensitivity to take up temporary residence in my eyeballs. Sometimes they invite Redness, and Water. Then they all get together and hold a gross eye infection meeting approximately every two weeks for about 24 hours. They mask themselves as sprinters, when in actuality they are marathoners, since this whole ordeal started about a month ago.

I was driving to work yesterday morning (since eyes were engaged in mid-battle by 8 30am I had already surrendered to glasses) and reached for my sunglasses. To put OVER my glasses. (I absolutely do not have, nor will I ever buy, the clip on prescription sunglasses lens. Sorry. I would rather look like a complete idiot then pull out those handy-dandy-I'm-turning-into-my-father contraptions). Then, with the sun visor down, left hand blocking sunlight, squinting like an angry old lady, and water streaming out of both eyes, I figured I should give the eye doc a ring-a-ling once I un-safely and miraculously reached my destination.

Here's how the conversation went with the doctor this morning.

Doc (peering into eyes with microscope contraption): Uhh huh. Uhh huh. (Sits back) You had pink eye.

Me: I have pink eye?

Doc: No, you HAD pink eye. You don't anymore.

Me: Are you sure?

Doc: Positive.

Me (annoyed): Then what's the deal with my eyes now, since I apparently don't have pink eye.

Doc (chummily): Your eyes THINK you still have pink eye, so they keep trying to fight it out every now and then.

Me: So, it's contagious, right? I need to stay home and stuff?

Doc (happily): Nope! You can go to work and everything!

Me (feigning happiness): That's great!!!! But you've dilated my eyes, so I can't drive for a while, so I probably should hang out here for a bit, right?

Doc: Nope! That was numbing drops. It will just excrete yellow crust from your eyes for about an hour. (Ew!!)

Me (dejectedly sighing): All right. (Weakly) Are you sure?

Doc (beginning to look at me strangely): Yes. Positive. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. You can drive and go to work. Just put these eye drops in 4 times a day to clear your eyes up, and no contacts until you see me next week. Off you go!!

Me: FINE. THANKS.

Funny how things work, huh? When I was jokingly wishing pink eye on myself, I actually had it. And stayed at work all day. Then, I am enlightened and told that was actually pink eye, but now it's just "fake" pink eye, and even though my eyes feel worse than when I DID have "real" pink eye, I am apparently all better and free to go to work. Wahoo!

Oh, karma. You are a b*tch.

A dual: pink eye vs. work

My musings for Wednesday...I apologize for rambling in this post, but there's only so much you can do with one workable eye.

I wore glasses to work today for the first time. I don't have a thing with wearing glasses, contacts are just easier. I'd rather avoid the nerdy clip on sunglasses and wear regular ones, I'd like to lean over my desk or pick something off the floor without my glasses sliding off, in which I am then forced to classically push them back up on my nose as if I am impersonating my English professor. However, glasses do come in handy sometimes-like when I want to look studious, or when I was Sarah Palin for Halloween (circa her pageant years, see below), but for the most part, I'm a contacts-kind-of-gal.

(Picture from Halloween 2008- a glasses wearing Sarah Palin on Left, Bonnie, from Bonnie and Clyde, on Right. Bonnie also goes by Chelsea, as in creative Chelsea from Design a la mod. Geez, I'm in such a promotional mood these past few days, just shows how much I love her blog! And her, of course.)


Anyway. The reason I am wearing glasses today is because my left eye thought it would be cool to peace out and let red eye substitute indefinitely...it looks like a permanent red firecracker went off and froze in mid explosion. While one eye is weepy, red, and going through bouts of intense twitching, the other eye is completely normal. Needless to say, I'm attracting a lot of (unwanted) attention.

In between left eye spasms I complained to a friend via AIM:

Me: I mean I wish I just had pink eye instead of some unknown problem. Then I could stay home for like 3 days.
Her: Oh that would be so nice...

Which got me thinking. We would take pink eye--the gooey, swollen, wake up with your eye crusted (ew, don't you just hate that word!?) shut, itchy, severely contagious pink eye--over work. I couldn't help but wonder (why hello Carrie Bradshaw tag line) at what point did the idea of work cross over from boring to 'I'll take a dose of pink eye, thank you.' ?

So, I snapped out of it. The only way I would take pink eye over work would be if AIM friend contracted pink eye at the same time and we could have a quarantined slumber party for three days.