Seriously, what's with the attitude?!

Since it’s Monday and before noon (meaning it’s still too early to start a countdown to quittin’ time) you can all go ahead and assume that I’m suffering from a severe case of the Mondays. So, if you’re looking for a post full of fluff, smiley faces, and positive thinking—look elsewhere.

Since I’ve been party to an abundance of pissy and pessimistic attitudes as of late, I think I’ll just make myself a temporary member of that fun club for the next few minutes and kick this post off with a little list of current irritations.

-There’s a reason why the working crowd are called “professionals”—we are supposed to act professionally. I don’t remember my parents sitting me down and explaining how to act/react if I ever get frustrated, angry, or annoyed with someone because they probably assumed I’m smart enough to infer that whatever the circumstances, I’m NOT supposed to act like a pissy maniac. And lucky for them, I was indeed smart enough to figure that out, and therefore don’t act like someone put a bee in my pants every time something doesn’t go my way.

-I don’t strike most people as a happy-go-lucky, smiley face type of gal, but when it comes to technologically conversing I will go out of my way to insert those little guys in emails, texts, and instant messenger convos. Why? Let’s do a little reader interaction to get that answer—Which sounds better:

A.) “I’ll be there at 8.” or B.) “I’ll be there at 8 :-)”

Answer is B. Quite simply, I’d rather have someone thinking I’m annoyingly overly enthusiastic than a complete bitch. People at work need to get on that train. And while we’re on that subject, or train, go ahead and completely eliminate all sarcasm in emails, texts, and IM’s. No matter how well I know someone, I will never know how they read things in their head, and so no, I didn’t see that episode of SNL and therefore didn’t get that it was a joke. I was this close to leaving thumbtacks in your chair, upturned.

-When talking in front of a group of people, don’t assume they’re hanging onto your every word… cause nobody is. Get to the point, be quick, and sit down. If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s meetings that last too long because of that ONE person who feels like their voice sounds like a golden angel and we’re all lucky to be privy to such beautiful sounds. And on that note, even though I’m not in school anymore—this also goes for that kid in class that asks a complicated question one second before class is over. That kid probably became said employee and I dislike the both of you.

In summary, be nice, be quick, and be humble. This is a job, not a battlefield. Get rid of the ‘tude.

The Fight

Boyfriend: "You want to talk about it?"

Me: (looks the other way, eyes well up with tears) "No. I've talked about it all day. I'm tired of even thinking about it."

Boyfriend (sighs): "You're upset."

Me: (scoffing) "I am not! God! I don't even care!"

Boyfriend: "Ok....well I've got some stuff to do so I-"

Me: (angrily) "It's just that I try, and I try, and I try, and I put SO much effort in. And I get nothing in return. I mean, it's not even worth it anymore!"

Boyfriend: "This is just how these things work...sometimes it just happens this way and you have to keep moving and hope for the best. Haven't you heard of the book/movie He's Just Not That Into You?"

Me: (jaw drops open) "Excuse me?? Not into me?! Now you're just being ridiculous!"

Boyfriend: (heatedly) "Seriously, sometimes you miss all the signs or it's just not a good fit. This is one of those cases! Get over it and move on!"

Me: (storming out the door)"Fine! If that's the way it's going to go down then so be it! I'm DONE. Through. FINITO. I'm better than this! Let's see how things works without me. HA!" (door slams)

Boyfriend: (muttering) "Sheesh. Not sure she would handle continuing unemployment that well if this is the reaction to being turned down from a job..."

Happy Monday?

Bits and pieces of texts, AIM conversations, and other such forms of communication I've encountered so far today:

Friend, via text message- "That's it. I'm quitting my job. I've reached my breaking point. They got a guinea pig. Picking up rodent turds is where I draw the line."

Friend, via AIM, after being "idle" for 30 minutes- "Ugh. Just did some work. That sucked."

Friend, via AIM, 8:59am-" Blah, I'm ready for the weekend."


If those don't scream ITS MONDAY to you then...I don't know what it screams. Misery, I suppose. Feel free to join the I've Got a Case of the Mondays Club!

What Comes Around, Goes Around

So, funny story:

My eyes have been evilly conjuring up Agitation, Irritation, and Insane Light Sensitivity to take up temporary residence in my eyeballs. Sometimes they invite Redness, and Water. Then they all get together and hold a gross eye infection meeting approximately every two weeks for about 24 hours. They mask themselves as sprinters, when in actuality they are marathoners, since this whole ordeal started about a month ago.

I was driving to work yesterday morning (since eyes were engaged in mid-battle by 8 30am I had already surrendered to glasses) and reached for my sunglasses. To put OVER my glasses. (I absolutely do not have, nor will I ever buy, the clip on prescription sunglasses lens. Sorry. I would rather look like a complete idiot then pull out those handy-dandy-I'm-turning-into-my-father contraptions). Then, with the sun visor down, left hand blocking sunlight, squinting like an angry old lady, and water streaming out of both eyes, I figured I should give the eye doc a ring-a-ling once I un-safely and miraculously reached my destination.

Here's how the conversation went with the doctor this morning.

Doc (peering into eyes with microscope contraption): Uhh huh. Uhh huh. (Sits back) You had pink eye.

Me: I have pink eye?

Doc: No, you HAD pink eye. You don't anymore.

Me: Are you sure?

Doc: Positive.

Me (annoyed): Then what's the deal with my eyes now, since I apparently don't have pink eye.

Doc (chummily): Your eyes THINK you still have pink eye, so they keep trying to fight it out every now and then.

Me: So, it's contagious, right? I need to stay home and stuff?

Doc (happily): Nope! You can go to work and everything!

Me (feigning happiness): That's great!!!! But you've dilated my eyes, so I can't drive for a while, so I probably should hang out here for a bit, right?

Doc: Nope! That was numbing drops. It will just excrete yellow crust from your eyes for about an hour. (Ew!!)

Me (dejectedly sighing): All right. (Weakly) Are you sure?

Doc (beginning to look at me strangely): Yes. Positive. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. You can drive and go to work. Just put these eye drops in 4 times a day to clear your eyes up, and no contacts until you see me next week. Off you go!!

Me: FINE. THANKS.

Funny how things work, huh? When I was jokingly wishing pink eye on myself, I actually had it. And stayed at work all day. Then, I am enlightened and told that was actually pink eye, but now it's just "fake" pink eye, and even though my eyes feel worse than when I DID have "real" pink eye, I am apparently all better and free to go to work. Wahoo!

Oh, karma. You are a b*tch.

A dual: pink eye vs. work

My musings for Wednesday...I apologize for rambling in this post, but there's only so much you can do with one workable eye.

I wore glasses to work today for the first time. I don't have a thing with wearing glasses, contacts are just easier. I'd rather avoid the nerdy clip on sunglasses and wear regular ones, I'd like to lean over my desk or pick something off the floor without my glasses sliding off, in which I am then forced to classically push them back up on my nose as if I am impersonating my English professor. However, glasses do come in handy sometimes-like when I want to look studious, or when I was Sarah Palin for Halloween (circa her pageant years, see below), but for the most part, I'm a contacts-kind-of-gal.

(Picture from Halloween 2008- a glasses wearing Sarah Palin on Left, Bonnie, from Bonnie and Clyde, on Right. Bonnie also goes by Chelsea, as in creative Chelsea from Design a la mod. Geez, I'm in such a promotional mood these past few days, just shows how much I love her blog! And her, of course.)


Anyway. The reason I am wearing glasses today is because my left eye thought it would be cool to peace out and let red eye substitute indefinitely...it looks like a permanent red firecracker went off and froze in mid explosion. While one eye is weepy, red, and going through bouts of intense twitching, the other eye is completely normal. Needless to say, I'm attracting a lot of (unwanted) attention.

In between left eye spasms I complained to a friend via AIM:

Me: I mean I wish I just had pink eye instead of some unknown problem. Then I could stay home for like 3 days.
Her: Oh that would be so nice...

Which got me thinking. We would take pink eye--the gooey, swollen, wake up with your eye crusted (ew, don't you just hate that word!?) shut, itchy, severely contagious pink eye--over work. I couldn't help but wonder (why hello Carrie Bradshaw tag line) at what point did the idea of work cross over from boring to 'I'll take a dose of pink eye, thank you.' ?

So, I snapped out of it. The only way I would take pink eye over work would be if AIM friend contracted pink eye at the same time and we could have a quarantined slumber party for three days.