Thursday, January 22, 2009

What Comes Around, Goes Around

So, funny story:

My eyes have been evilly conjuring up Agitation, Irritation, and Insane Light Sensitivity to take up temporary residence in my eyeballs. Sometimes they invite Redness, and Water. Then they all get together and hold a gross eye infection meeting approximately every two weeks for about 24 hours. They mask themselves as sprinters, when in actuality they are marathoners, since this whole ordeal started about a month ago.

I was driving to work yesterday morning (since eyes were engaged in mid-battle by 8 30am I had already surrendered to glasses) and reached for my sunglasses. To put OVER my glasses. (I absolutely do not have, nor will I ever buy, the clip on prescription sunglasses lens. Sorry. I would rather look like a complete idiot then pull out those handy-dandy-I'm-turning-into-my-father contraptions). Then, with the sun visor down, left hand blocking sunlight, squinting like an angry old lady, and water streaming out of both eyes, I figured I should give the eye doc a ring-a-ling once I un-safely and miraculously reached my destination.

Here's how the conversation went with the doctor this morning.

Doc (peering into eyes with microscope contraption): Uhh huh. Uhh huh. (Sits back) You had pink eye.

Me: I have pink eye?

Doc: No, you HAD pink eye. You don't anymore.

Me: Are you sure?

Doc: Positive.

Me (annoyed): Then what's the deal with my eyes now, since I apparently don't have pink eye.

Doc (chummily): Your eyes THINK you still have pink eye, so they keep trying to fight it out every now and then.

Me: So, it's contagious, right? I need to stay home and stuff?

Doc (happily): Nope! You can go to work and everything!

Me (feigning happiness): That's great!!!! But you've dilated my eyes, so I can't drive for a while, so I probably should hang out here for a bit, right?

Doc: Nope! That was numbing drops. It will just excrete yellow crust from your eyes for about an hour. (Ew!!)

Me (dejectedly sighing): All right. (Weakly) Are you sure?

Doc (beginning to look at me strangely): Yes. Positive. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. You can drive and go to work. Just put these eye drops in 4 times a day to clear your eyes up, and no contacts until you see me next week. Off you go!!


Funny how things work, huh? When I was jokingly wishing pink eye on myself, I actually had it. And stayed at work all day. Then, I am enlightened and told that was actually pink eye, but now it's just "fake" pink eye, and even though my eyes feel worse than when I DID have "real" pink eye, I am apparently all better and free to go to work. Wahoo!

Oh, karma. You are a b*tch.

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  1. Let the rumor float around that you still have pink eye - people will avoid you like the plague. More time to blog!

    Sounds like a win/win to me.

  2. LOL, I just had to laugh and appreciate the fact that I am not the only person who puts sunglasses OVER glasses in the event of a contact-emergency.